How Do I, as a Husband, Communicate Grace to my Wife?

Most wives are pleasers. They want to please their husbands. It’s a beautiful trait. But it can also be a source of pain, producing a burden too heavy to bear.

Why? Because so many wives feel as though they fall short of truly pleasing their husbands.

Often, husbands are the culprits in this feeling of failure. Husbands, by words and actions, can easily cast a negative light on what the wife does or doesn’t do. Men thoughtlessly say things like:

‘Did you get to the cleaning today?’

‘How are you doing on your weight?’

‘The way you express yourself . . . sometimes I haven’t a clue what you are saying.’

When a wife takes her identity from what she does or doesn’t do, the weight of becoming someone better by doing something becomes stifling, withering, and ultimately defeating.

Instead, a husband who loves his wife with the grace of Christ will go to great and creative lengths to convince his wife that he loves her not on the basis of what she does, but on the basis of who she is. Or, even better yet, on the basis of what he, by his love, can help her become. She will know by what he says and how he acts that there is nothing she can ever do to diminish his love for her. There is nothing she can do to diminish the esteem in which he holds her.

She is adored unconditionally.

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